Today suppose is happy day, but it turned grievous. Not sure what is the reason. I feel sad when I knew whatever I did actually is wrong and things cannot be done by follow your heart, something have to read though, think though before you do. I'm telling myself not to cry! Not to cry! No cry! Hiding the tear is truly hard. It's totally suffering me. I hate myself, why am I is so brainless. Pretending isn't a good. Smile is not easy. I can't deny the tear anymore when I received the message. And I still acting smile in front them. Making someone sad equal making yourself sad.